Zooming By

Both my parents and I were born on generational seams. My father was born in 1959, my mom in 1960, right in the last years of the baby boom era. I was born in 1996, two years before the zoomer cut-off (usually put around 1998 or so). The result of this fluke is that, like everyone else born around 1996, my relationship to 2008—likely the defining event in both generations’ lives—is neither fully millennial nor fully zoomer. What I want to do here is use this in-betweenness to sketch a rough schematic of how each generation’s relationship to 2008 manifests in aesthetics and politics, in what decade each generation turned to for fashion and art, as well as each’s commitment to Marxist materialism and tendency to historicism. Before doing so, however, I want to stress that these are generalities, and as with any generation, there’s no hard line between zoomer and millennial.[1] Each generation bleeds into every other. The rough periodization I’m indulging in is nothing more than an attempt to label two different impulses among young-ish people (under 35).

That aesthetically, we both looked backwards is inevitable: the future has been foreclosed, after all, and even if hadn’t, pastiche and recirculation has been the name of the game since at least the 1980’s. But what strikes me as fascinating is not that each generation looked to a different era (millennials looking towards the 1970’s, Zoomers looking towards the early 2000’s/late 90’s), but why. Younger millennials turned toward the 1970’s as an aesthetic touchstone not because of hauntology (as Mark Fisher argues), but because of the similarities between then and the post-2008 era.[2] In my thesis, I attributed this to what is called the secular crisis of capitalism. I still agree with that analysis.[3] But without even getting into that we might say that there’s an obvious kinship: the seventies were the last period of extended stagnation like we saw after 2008. And even when recovery began after the Great Recession, it was only a recovery for a small group of people. The jobs that came back were for the most part more precarious and lower-paying.  You can even in some ways draw a modern parallel to stagflation, the feeling that you’re being left behind as the economy grows: the explosion of rents and home prices across the nation, even in cities with no limitations on housing stock. It’s not stagflation of course (inflation rates are still quite low, though Biden’s administration is talking about raising them), but rather extreme inequality. The feeling, however, might as well be the same. For the average person, wages have been stagnant even as the cost of reproduction (in the Marxist sense of the term) has risen.

The key here is that the turn to the 70’s wasn’t nostalgic as much as sympathetic. That’s not to say there wasn’t any nostalgia—certain cultural products did romanticize the era. One of the more popular bands of the 2010’s was called The 1975, after all. But this nostalgia was rooted in a recognition that the time period was horrid. We were nostalgic because at least the 70’s was producing new culture even as they were mired in the shit. We couldn’t say the same. 1977 alone had Bowie’s Low, the first Star Wars, Eraserhead, Annie Hall, Jubilee, Rumors, Aja, the B-52’s first public performance,  and so much more. We had The Avengers, Mac Demarco, and (a rare bright spot) Kendrick Lamar. Our nostalgia was that back then, despite (or because of) a war everyone wanted to forget about going on in the background, a heroin pandemic, and a crashed economy, there was still something worthwhile going on. Our imitation of the 70’s was only partly mimetic. We don’t want to become the 70’s, a desire usually harbored within acts of mimesis. As a friend pointed out when bitching about the people who were genuinely nostalgic for the era: 1975 almost certainly smelled like shit.

In contrast, the Zoomer turn towards the early 2000’s/late 1990’s is much more straightforwardly nostalgic, not too different from the 80’s obsession with the 1950’s. Part of it is likely due to millennials’ own nostalgia for when we were young. Kid Detective, one of the better films of 2020, sets its nostalgic 1950’s suburban dream in 2002, well after deindustrialization and death of American innocence. The dominant culture of one generation is very often produced by that of the preceding one. 20 year-olds may drive our culture, but the movers and shakers are millennials or (even more likely) generation X. Hang around the internet and you’ll see plenty of millennials reminiscing about LimeWire and burning CD’s and Blockbuster (indeed, there’s now a full-length pean to this last one on Netflix). But there’s something else at play. The recent resurgence of 2000’s aesthetics is centered around their trashiness, their absurdity, how ugly every part of that culture seemed to be. Low-rise jeans and tiny sunglasses don’t flatter celebrities; no normal person wearing either seriously thinks they look good. Instead, it reflects the Zoomer desire that contemporary aesthetics reflect how bankrupt they are. While millennials harbored the desire that alternatives be produced out of suffering—for this what every great work of art is, an acknowledgement of its guilt and the pain of our world and yet refusing to accept this, and out of this quixotic desire grows the haunting knowledge that something better is possible—Zoomers are more pessimistic, more “black-pilled” to use internet parlance. All they can ask for is that culture not pretend it is anything but ugly and evil. The era of bad reality TV and Paris Hilton and Rockabilly and George Bush and illegal wars delivered this; there was no pretending we were better than things appeared, as there would be later, in the era of Peak TV and “Yes We can.” There was just power and Angelina Jolie wearing a vial of Billy Bob’s blood.

On the left, you can see a similar dynamic play out in millennial and zoomer approaches to critiques of capitalism. Those of us who remember the before of the financial crisis (however imperfectly), turned to Marxism because it offered us an analytic framework that explained our own blind spots. The k-shaped recovery makes more sense if you believe David Harvey’s claim that neoliberalism is attempt at the restoration of class power. Bush’s concept of an “ownership society” takes on a new valence if you read it as nothing more than a tool to produce debt that could be packaged and traded, another chapter in capitalism’s quest to commodify all objects and relationships to stave off its own contradictions. At the same time, we saw firsthand the breakdown of what Foucault called an episteme, how 2008 fundamentally changed how we think and the accompanying culture. The early 2000’s was a time when capitalist ideology was working about as smoothly as possible. Due solely to when we were born, we got to encounter this without being fully interpellated as older generations were, making the breakdown particularly obvious. As a result, we tended towards a materialism and historicism—those I know most committed to something like periodizing are mostly in their late 20’s and early 30’s. Zoomers, on the other hand, have little memory of the pre-2008 ideological apparatus. They have grown up almost entirely in an era where capitalism has struggled to paper over its cracks. This is one reason so many young people are taking increasingly polarized positions; they have never seen the status quo “work.” But at the same time, to them Marx looks less like a revelation and more like an old white guy stating the obvious. Millennials (myself included) have occasionally strayed too close to a vulgar Marxist determinism, where all the failures of society are laid at capital’s feet. But if you came of age only watching capital flail and its ideological defenders twist themselves into increasingly absurd knots, this vision of capital as such a force that it not only touches everything in life but shapes it all is harder to swallow. In conversations with people slightly younger than me, I see a tendency to ontologize, to attribute everything to an ahistorical essence. Or rather, that’s not quite right. It’s not purely ahistorical. Rather, it is a tendency to freeze one historical dimension of an object and claim that this is its pure being, what it is at its heart. Of course, this could be a product of youth. It’s a (true) cliché that when we’re young, we tend to see things as black and white, as eternal and clear. Perhaps they will grow out of this tendency. Certainly, this would be better for society; as Adorno, Levinas, Derrida, and more have argued, there is something fascistic in the very concept of ontology, and so to indulge in ontological thinking is to allow fascism to enter into your politics, whether you mean to or not.

At the end of the day, however, these generational impulses are not clear cut. Afro-pessimism (which relies on ontological thinking) is particularly popular among people in their late 20’s and early 30’s, and I see plenty of people old enough to know better imitating kids who are in turn imitating 90’s fashions. And certainly, despite my reticence to talk about it, our differing relationship to the internet matters. But despite all this, I do believe that over the next couple years, it will become increasingly clear that 2008 still reverberates, not only in the Neighborhood’s “Sweater Weather” (2013) but also in 100 Gecs and Billie Eilish and whatever else the teens are listening to.

[1] I half joke that it comes down to Fortnight, the popular Battle Royal game. If you can play it well, you’re a zoomer. If not, you’re a millennial.

[2] Or rather, hauntology is not entirely the reason.

[3] This is not the place to get into it, but it essentially means that we’ve been in a crisis for fifty years now, and the reason the full extent of this crisis wasn’t apparent through the 80’s-2008 was because of the rise of debt and the accompanying bundling and trading. In short, financialization.  

Abstract Lovers

My friend Kelly has a rule: “only girls, gays, and god are allowed to have an opinion on Lana Del Ray.” Pitchfork’s clickbait review of her new album, however, has already trolled me into commenting on her once, so why not clarify my thoughts a bit? In the subheading to her reflection on Norman Fucking Rockwell, Jenn Pelly declares that the album establishes Del Ray as “one of America’s greatest living songwriters.” This strikes me as hyperbole in service of page views. To borrow from sports, LDR is an all-star, not a Hall of Famer. If you’ll excuse a terrible Bill Simmons-style metaphor, she’s Jimmy Rollins, the old Phillies shortstop. He was electrifying in his prime, terrifying teams. But only diehard Philly fans will pretend he’s among the best ever. Unless Del Ray produces something truly spectacular with her next albums, I don’t think we can consider her in that top tier of American singer-songwriters. At most, she is one of the best working American songwriters in pop. The only way you could believe otherwise is if you have a strong aversion to country and Americana, as Pitchfork does. This is a website that didn’t even bother to review Amanda Shires’ To the Sunset (why the 7th LP by a well known Americana artist isn’t noteworthy enough to review is a question best left to the gods). Or consider These United States, an Americana-styled band that Pitchfork doesn’t like one bit. After all, allusions are hard, and who wants a lyricist to aspire to poetry? That smacks of pretention, something Pitchfork could certainly never be accused of! It’s not like their reviews sounds like press releases run through a thesaurus or anything. No, songs shouldn’t explore how stories are told, nor work toward a sort of modernist reconstruction of spoken language. They should just convey vibes, obviously. For all their “college alt-weekly” diction, Pitchfork is fundamentally aligned with the anti-intellectual element of American culture, not much different from those Jordan Peterson-following philistines who are so skeptical of all art made after 1860. After all, they seem to believe anything indirect is beyond art’s purview, that any reflection on its own mediations is somehow “self-indulgent.”

Screen Shot 2019-09-05 at 1.28.16 PM
Johnny Appleseed telling a story and questioning conflations of nature, god, and indigenous people; or, Pitchfork’s nightmare.

But this is not meant to be about Pitchfork (though the state of their music criticism is absolutely appalling). I wanted to talk about Lana’s new album, which is good, if a bit homogenous. On a positive side, this gives the album coherence. While most musicians now compose individual songs that have little relation to the larger project, it is obvious Del Ray takes pains to make a unitary whole. At some point, however, the songs begin to blend together—there’s not enough of those “false moments,” sounds that so contrast with the rest that they provide a marker, not to mention reconfirm the unity of the larger project. It’s the Weyes Blood problem—the mixture of a very good musician, fantastic production, and a unified vision can easily produce something without the outliers (good or bad) that pull you into the work. It doesn’t help that the album’s runtime is over an hour. A curse of the digital era is that even the best albums now have filler songs that were better left on the cutting room floor. By the time I hit “California,” I was ready for the album to begin its wrap up. Imagine my surprise to see Lana was barely halfway done.

In terms of sound, NFR! reminded me of The Neighborhood, if The Neighborhood were actually good. Lana croons above a piano and synthesizers, constantly heavy on the reverb, capturing California ennui, that feeling of a beach where everyone’s turned back to land, watching fires consume the rest of the city. It’s the spiritual successor to Neil Young’s On the Beach, an album that wants to be written in the dark, except the blinds are translucent and the sun keeps shining through. It’s a work steeped in resignation, As Hazel Hills writes:

You could argue that her “fuck it” approach, losing herself in the beaches of California while they still exist, exemplifies the exact opposite of what great political music is supposed to do. But listening to the ways in which the Apocalypse clouds her vision in her love songs, contemplating how Los Angeles just missed a fireball, thinking of Woodstock at Coachella, actually sounds like what this moment feels like. You dress in neon to feel a little better. You go to grab a coffee and wonder if you’ll still be here tomorrow. You dream that things will get better, and the next day take it back. “Can’t a girl just do the best she can?” she asks on “Mariners Apartment Complex.” In Del Rey’s music, people fall in love at the end of the world, because that’s where we are.

This part of Lana’s music is particularly interesting to me. In my academic life, I’ve been working on this style of art, calling it aproductivity. It arises in the early 1970’s, falls away in the 1980’s, and comes back after 2008. Del Ray certainly captures the essence of the style, the way her songs build but do not come to a climax, instead just running out of steam. Her voice rises and tries to break free of the nihilism she’s written, only to be forced back. Search for meaning transforms into waiting for the object that will transform us. But who knows what that will be, and so terror creeps in, as our mortality reminds us we might be waiting our entire lives for nothing. She’s a master of capturing this terror without mentioning it, instead leaving it on subconscious plane, where it works your way into your body as you listen. This is what people refer to when they talk about her “psychoanalytic” influences, the way she relates to film noir and David Lynch. But she does this almost entirely through her soundscapes. Beautiful as they are, however, they alone are not enough to carry her lyrics. Rather, they mask the lyrics’ “B-plus poetics,” to quote Ann Power’s review of the album. If I wanted the hazy, depressed, subconcious beach sound, I would turn to Best Coast, or I don’t like Shit, I Don’t go Outside by Earl Sweatshirt, or Klangstof’s Close Eyes to Exit, or even the disturbing beats and interventions in Faces. All of them capture the schizophrenic subconscious of late capital in ways equal or surpassing NFR!.

Because of the lyrics, the album remains slightly underwhelming, at least compared to what it could be. Her lines fall into the trap of so much contemporary writing, filled with short declarative sentences where the meaning comes from the referencing of an Internet archetype. “Goddamn, man-child/You fucked me so good that I almost said “I love you”/You’re fun and you’re wild/But you don’t know the half of the shit that you put me through/Your poetry’s bad and you blame the news/But I can’t change that, and I can’t change your mood, ah.” It feels universal and new, but on closer inspection it’s pretty much just a sung version of any number of thinkpieces on “artbros.” Artbros are very real, but just recapitulating accepted identifications does not make for good lyrics. Despite what various blogs will have you believe, relatability is not a marker of quality. At times, Del Ray lapses into a mode that I might uncharitably describe as “a rich man’s Rupi Kaur.” “You don’t ever have to be stronger than you really are/When you’re lying in my arms”; good for her lover to know, perhaps, but a long way from poetry.

Her abstractions feel universal, but in striving for this they betray themselves. By turning her desires into archetypes, Lana flattens them. The result is that they are no longer actual desires, which are inexchangable and individual, but rather culture industry constructions, the sort of “boys” found mostly in Hollywood films. It makes her relatable and strips the songs of their power. Contrast her songs with Guy Clark’s “My Favorite Picture of You.” In it, his love is unique, something only he and his lover have experienced. It has no beginning and no end, it cannot be packaged or explained. Others look at images from it and see anger and hatred, but he just sees beauty and hope. It is intensely personal, yet we find ourselves thinking of our own loves. Not because they are the same, but because in its singularity it reminds of our loves, each unique, each real. The best relationships are never relatable, because they rely on individuality. Anything else reduces the participants to ideas, which can never be loved. They’re abstract. Maybe one day Lana will realize that. For now, she’ll keep trying to hold onto them; after all, in a dying world, ideas are the only things that remain consistent. People die, or they leave, or worse yet they change. Abstractions stay the same. Hopefully LDR won’t; to do so would be a betrayal of her immense individual talent.



I’ve recently been suffering from writer’s block, especially as I’ve tried to write fiction again, something I haven’t done in well over a year. At the same time, I’ve been listening to Crimes by These United States a lot. Like, an unbelievable amount. It mourns a place and time that it knows never existed, crafting this world while softly reminding us to not imbue it with too much meaning or treat it as history.

And so, as an exercise to break my block, I decided to write the beginnings of twelve separate stories—one for each song on the album. The rules were simple: the story, diction, and structure of the stories had to be true to the song, without simply fleshing out its lyrics. Even though part of me wanted to reorder it, I stayed true to the original track listing. These are the results.

Certain studio songs aren’t available to listen to on YouTube, or only live versions are available. In these cases, I’ve linked to the Spotify page, because the live versions are so different from the studio ones.

West Won (Spotify)

He talked in a way that dissolved each word’s meaning. Empty catch phrases, bungled clichés, and indefinable buzzwords all combined to make a piss-poor pastiche of the English language. He’d rode in from Sacramento, or maybe San Jose—whichever is the shining city of the West. He’d spent forty days and forty nights wandering through the desert in the middle of the most developed area of the West, a dwindling bottle of whiskey his only escape back to society. He’d been in gunfights with Indian tribes long gone from these parts. The coyotes that followed him around had a “multitude of follicles.” Our coffee was damn fine. Assigning each word a truth-value was an exercise in futility—it lost this value as soon as it was chained to the ones that preceded and succeeded it. It was all true, even when it wasn’t. We only realized our wallets were missing thirty minutes after he left. Destroying meaning acts as a mighty fine smokescreen.

Susie at the Seashore (Spotify)

I wandered down to the pier. There was Susie plying her trade while avoiding the grasping hands of unsubtle old men. Only steamers over eighty feet were allowed to dock today, so it was especially bad. Assorted lawyers and bankers, titans of industry and boozed-up old money, none a day under seventy, whispered about her bra. Or more accurately, her lack of one. Approaching from behind, I tried to giver her a peck on the cheek, which she deftly avoided.

“Why do y’all never get the message?”

I shrugged. “Trying anyway keeps us young. That and the expedition.”

“Ah yes, the creeps’ search for the sunken city, filled with nymphs to deflower and resources to plunder.”

“Something like that.” In reality though, it was mostly an excuse for the men to drink without their wives and ogle the blue-collar crew, indulging our more repressed fantasies.

“I get why you reject these geriatrics still sucking on silver spoons, but why me too? I’m single, self-made, retired, and still sort of young. How can you resist?”

“In asking that question, you’ve supplied the answer,” she said pinching my cheek. “Now, if you aren’t going to buy anything, please leave me alone.”

“Same as yesterday. Fifty dollars worth of rods, please. One of these days I’m going to have to learn how to fish.”

Get Yourself Home (In Search of the Mistress Whose Kisses Are Famous)

The train rounded the bend, a little too fast as always, and there was his hometown up on the horizon.

At the station, his brother was leaning against a white column. Their mother sat on a bench nearby. As the man disembarked, the brother shouldered one of the man’s bags. There were no greetings. The three began to walk in silence—past the intersection with the stoplight and the hardware store; past the antebellum courthouse; past the empty docks; past the homes of childhood friends and foes. Mostly foes. Eventually, they arrived the house—more of a glorified trailer, really, twice as wide as it was deep, single story with an old slate roof. When they were children, the brothers would jump from the dark tiles to the wooden zip line platform their dad had made for them.

They entered the house. It was no longer empty, as it was for most of the man’s childhood, but brimming with relatives he’d thought long dead. Uncles on the Lazy-Boys, aunts packed shoulder to shoulder on the sofa, cousins on Calvinistic chairs. No conversations stopped when the three walked in, mostly because there were no conversations to stop. An unopened bottle of bourbon sat on the table. Staring out at the yard where he had learned to swing a bat and time a tackle, now covered in kudzu, he smiled and cracked the jug’s plastic safety seal.

Pleasure and Pain and Pride and Me (Spotify)

Chris was regretting the pact he’d made with Luke all those years ago. Hadn’t he noticed the stolen glances, the uncomfortable pauses, the signs that were so clear in retrospect? When they promised to be partners for life, they had been small time. Stealing horses and loading die, just until Chris’s political career took off and he could swindle legally. Now they were scoping out First State Bank, prepping for “the crime of the century,” as Luke kept calling it. Chris damned his partner’s adrenaline addiction. Luke didn’t care for girls or gambling; he’d given up alcohol after that unfortunate incident with Brady the Brute. Chris never had to drag him out of the brothel or saloon at 3 A.M.—no, that’d be much too easy. Instead, on a near daily basis he’d have to use his silver tongue to diffuse a duel or veto a plan. But there was no deterring this. Luke had been dreaming of it since he was a boy with a cap gun. And Chris’s pride wouldn’t let him back out. They’d either rob the bank or it’d rob them.

We Go Down to That Corner

Ben stumbled back two steps, landing on bended knee, arms akimbo as if he was proposing again. He squeezed off two rounds that lodged in the wooden frame of the corner saloon. Edith had broken his heart for good this time. He fell on his back. The mountains at the bottom of his field of vision danced, contorting themselves up and down, left and right as the dust around him floated. He could’ve sworn he heard her scream, though maybe it was in celebration. The setting sun was getting closer, moving down to reach his level. Ben’s cigarette smoldered on his chest, burning a small hole in his vest. “Well I guess this means she’s keeping the ashtray,” he thought.

Honor Amongst Thieves

“Jimbo stumbled out the bar on his own accord…though just barely,” I added through a chuckle. “And who’s standing outside but Atticus and his trusty revolver. ‘Well’ says Atticus, ‘I reckon this the proper time to…let’s say repossess that money you stole yesterday.’ Ole Jimbo can only laugh and hand over his last fiver. Once he does, Atticus holsters his gun, slaps Jimbo on the back and says, ‘why don’t we grab ourselves a drink. I’m buying,’ and the two go right back into the bar.

Well, three hours later, the two have run through the fiver. Jimbo is out like a light in the corner, but Atti still wants another. He begins wandering out the bar to look for a new drinking partner, only to walk headfirst into the barrel of Raymond’s six-shooter. He complies—hands over the rest of his cash and turns back into the bar yelling ‘Raymond’s buying this time.’

A couple more hours pass, and now Atticus is done. I mean, head on the table, tongue lolling out the side of his mouth, hand shaped as though it’s still holding a whiskey tumbler. Jimbo is coming too, though the only thought getting through the haze of his hangover is ‘hair of the dog,’ which he’s repeating like some kind of mantra to keep the spirits at bay. Problem is, Atticus took his last cent. So he walks out, and lo and behold, it’s Sara Anne. He fumbles out his .44, shrugs, and says ‘revenge for last week.’ The—”

“Why didn’t anyone ever rob you? You must’ve been around to see all this?”

“I was behind the bar. And common decency said that, if you don’t tip your barkeep, you don’t rob him either. What type of person’d do that?”

Six Bullets (Five Complaints) (Spotify)

I awoke with a start. Why’d it feel like I was moving?

“Because we’re in the back of a car, silly” Dana laughed, baring her straight white teeth. “Sarah,” she said as brushed her blonde hair out her eyes, “aren’t you going to show our guest some hospitality?”

Sarah nodded and reached into a Givenchy purse, producing a perfectly rolled joint. “And what is that, may I ask?”

“Don’t your small town manners mean you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth?” They handed me the number and small lighter. Raising my head a second later, something hit me.

“Who’s driving this thing anyway?”

“I am,” responded Jeff from the front. “Isn’t she a beaut?” A beauty it was. A brand new 1963 Cadillac El Dorado convertible, fins and all, painted baby blue.

“I was talking about this, actually” he said, waving a .38 in the air. “It’s the same one as in The Big Heat.” Hiding my surprise, I tried to change the subject, preferably to why I woke up in a car going 90 down I-9. “So what’s happening? Do I need cash? Can I chip in for gas or something?”

“Don’t worry about it. We’re taking care of you—our treat.” Sarah chimed in.

“Being from New Mexico and all, can you teach us how to use this thing, actually?” Dana added, pointing toward the revolver.

Heaven Can Wait (Spotify)

Joel sat in his room, staring out the window at his mailbox. Why had he sent that letter? Maybe her response would arrive today. Then again, he’d thought the same yesterday, and the day before that too. Taking out a piece of paper, he began to write. Why not did the hole a little deeper?

Upstairs, Patricia finished packing her bags. Thomas kept trying to approach, filling her nostrils with the smell of good whiskey and cheap perfume. The stench kept his indiscretions fresh and her anger strong. She threw her last dress into the trunk and slammed it shut.

Study the Moon (Spotify)

They found him in Georgie’s saloon. Though I guess they call it a bar now, and Georgie doesn’t own it anymore. The coppers put their hands on Ole Frank’s shoulder and hauled him down to the courthouse, where the judge demanded he be cuffed. A jury, no faces he recognized, had already been assembled. His stone-faced public defender, fresh in from Pittsburg, was waiting for him. The prosecutor, wearing saddle shoes shined to an inch of their life and a silk tie, coolly asked for death by hanging. As he did so, Frankie couldn’t help but blurt out, “Aw hell, I didn’t take nobodies’ money. Just figured, what better place to get the cash Georgie owes than the bank itself?”

Well, the jury didn’t like that much. Didn’t take more than a minute to convict. In the back of the room the sheriff, Frankie’s old drinking buddy, did his best to stifle his sobs.


Matt was the only congressman sitting. Papers floated around him, fluttering down into his lap before slipping onto the wood floor below. Everyone was face-to-face in one big scrum, a hurricane of screams and middle fingers with Matt as the eye. Eventually, a member of his party noticed him. “Why aren’t you leading the charge like usual?”

“Doesn’t matter. They’ve already won, whether or not we vote no. The funding is coming in from the feds thick and fast. So what if we win? Another three months? Another six? Nothing worth losing your voice over.”


John sat at the edge of the party, glass in his hand, staring up at the moon. In front of him, women in hoopskirts two-stepped with Colonels. As Ignacio approached him, John looked up with a smile notable only for how appallingly fake it was.

“You keep grimacing like that, it’ll become permanent.”

“How you enjoyin’ the party?”

“More than you, evidently. They haven’t been married but five minutes, and you’re already the grumpy father-in-law.”

John grinned. “That make you the nagging mother-in-law?” His smile dissipated as he stirred the ice cubes in his bourbon with his index finger. “It’s the end of us, Ignacio. It’s not just the groom; everyone here is from the city,” he lamented, staring at a man in a business suit across the room. “Pushing us and our ways out.”

“Like your people did to mine.”

The two chuckled. Ignacio kicked the dirt. John took another sip of bourbon. “Guess so.”

The men in loafers and gold watches were streaming out, leaving glasses stacked nicely on the abandoned tables and various bits of detritus scattered across the ground. A silver coin reflected the moonlight onto John’s drink. “Remember when these things’d go all night?” He reminisced.

“What’s all this hot tin for? Declaring us dead already. The girls are still dancing, aren’t they? And the bar’s still serving. Come on.” He offered a hand to help John stand, and, arms draped around the other’s shoulders, the two meandered through the crowd of revelers, still spinning on and on, for one more night at least.

Low Country Girls (Spotify)

We pulled the pick-up over to the side of the road, got out, and hopped the fence onto the farm. We ran towards its eastern edge, she and I, where the outline of tobacco plants gave way to moonlight reflecting off the water. Sitting there with our feet in the lapping waves, her dirty blonde hair almost glittered.

“You aren’t worried about being caught?” she asked.

“What’s it matter? I sail off again tomorrow.” I whispered as I leaned in for a kiss. Pulling away a few minutes later, I smiled and said, “each time I come home, it gets harder to leave.”

“What happened to the wanderer without a country, the border-hopping heartbreaker?” She teased.

“Carolina girls, I guess.” Seeing lights in the distance, I grabbed her arm. “I think that’s our cue.” And we were off again.


Old Chapman Takes a Good Long Walk

“So I tell him,” he says, chuckling softly, “I say ‘Sam, you know how to kill a hog?’ And he shakes his head no. ‘Well, you can’t shoot it in the head, unless you got a real cannon.’” He tries to make a hand motion, spilling whiskey on his prodigious belly and the empty notebooks of the crowd gathered around him. It doesn’t faze him, though he might not have even noticed. ‘“If you take it head on, you’ll have a real bad time. They’re mean creatures, hogs. No, you gotta climb a tree in the morning and wait. And wait. And wait some more. And a bit more after that. Eventually, it’ll pass underneath. When it does, you jump on top of it, stab it in the neck, and flip it on its side. We’ve got to do the same with this legislation. It’s cowardly, sure, but it’s also our only chance. They’ve got the speaker. They’ve got presidential and public support. They got us dead to rights, but we still got our wits.’” He stops for a second, watching the crowd lean in and flashing a smile that foreshadows the punch. “And so Sam thinks for a minute. I mean really thinks, you can see it in his face, and says, ‘well Tom, that sounds great.’” Tom pauses for a beat. “‘Except I don’t know how to climb a tree.’” The previously enraptured reporters explode in laughter as Tom bellows, “well, there goes our wit. Only the finest minds here in Washington.”

As the crowd calms, a young man in the back, one hand scribbling furiously, looks up at the congressman. “Would Senator Nance corroborate this, that this conversation happened?”

Dozens of unhappy faces turn to face him. Tom, still chuckling at himself, sends the cub a wink and a smile. “Sonny, let me buy you a drink and tell you what a wise man once told me: ‘Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.’”

When You’re Traveling at the Speed of Light (Spotify) 

The hard twang of a blues guitar waft from the window of the car. If I were going any faster, the rules of relativity would start to apply. I’m in no real rush—just that middle Alabama looks like Middle Georgia looks like Middle Mississippi and when you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it a million times. Doesn’t help that the word that best typifies these places, especially at night, is creepy. And so I drive onwards, hard and fast, reaching towns with names like Moultrie and Doerun at daybreak, leaving them two nights later, passing through kudzu covered forests and over snake filled swamps, singing along with B.B. and co like I’d have it any other way.

Recognizing a Work of Art

“Bowie, some McCartney, but who else does it sound like? It’s familiar, but I can’t quite place it. Give it a listen and help me out?” I texted my father. I was talking about Meilyr Jones’s stunning solo debut 2013, released earlier this year. In an age where almost every song from history is at our finger tips, this is how we talk about music. This song is a dash of this and a pinch of that, all mixed up in the bowl labeled Beatles. Analysis takes the form of deconstructing the song, breaking it up into its component parts and identifying each, showing of the interplay between the library inside your head and the one on your computer. Though we all do it, it’s not healthy. Steve Hyden is probably right when he says that listening this way lessens our enjoyment—we become so caught up in ID’ing influences that we forget to listen to the song as a whole.

Jones gets this; breaking down every genre and influence on the album is as futile as trying to name every type of flower in the bouquet on the front cover. While it does make it hard to explain to people (would you listen if someone told you one of their favorite albums of the year was a blend of rock, pop, and classical with the band sung by a former member of an electronic group backed by a thirty piece band made up of his friends in Wales? Didn’t think so), it makes for a great listening experience that gets better each time. It also allows Jones to play with ideas of love, authenticity, sexuality, and indexicality to create a sprawling work in which all roads lead back to Rome.

On 2013’s first song, “How to Recognize a Work of Art,” Jones croons that when he examines his photograph for the “mark authentic authors…leave on works of art,” he finds nothing. Though he took it, he declares that the photo is “a fake, it’s a fake, it’s a fake,” a sardonic mockery of society’s obsession with assigning authenticity. It’s a rejection of the idea that only certain people can create real art—a rebuttal to the “cult of the artist.” It reminds me of Ben Lerner’s essay in Harper’s on the “tyranny of price;” the idea that vandalizing a work is art if it raises the value, and criminal if it lowers it. Of course, the change in value almost always corresponds to the fame of the vandal. In a world where every phone has a camera and we all have photoshop, we’ve become obsessed with the idea of someone being a “real” artist, as if such thing exists. Of course there’s a difference between Annie Leibovitz and an eight year old with an iPhone; that’s obvious to anyone with eyes. The cult of the artist also diminishes the creator—it says the work is important because of the name on the bottom, not the content it’s attached to. Later in the song, Jones describes watching a video someone made with Kurt Cobain, noticing that the eyes aren’t right. Again, he sarcastically begins yelling that it’s a fake, even though it was real to the creator. Jones reminds us that despite what society says, real is relative in art. In his orchestra, the strings respond, matching his voice as he sings, “there are highs…there are lows,” in an arrangement reminiscent of classical music, only for the drums and guitar to cut across them in a traditional pop beat. He’s not a composer; it can’t be art—just a pop song pretending to be more.

Perhaps my favorite song on the album is “Strange Emotional.” It’s a testament to Jones’s skill that he can take signifiers relating to many things and shape them so their only referent is Rome. He takes a tone reminiscent of Road to El Dorado’s faux-Spanish colonial meets Brit rock,[1] turns up the Bowie influence, and makes it all seem as authentically Italian as Verdi. What’s more, he does this without relying on indexicals of being there. He follows the indexical that he is “writing to you from [his] room in Rome” his “only home” by asserting that he is “an actor recalling his previous life.” He is “happy here [he] used to know the winds above [him] and the sounds below” [emphasis mine]. Through the sudden switch to the past tense, Jones casts doubt that the preceding “here” refers to his room in Rome, undermining his own claim of being there. By unmooring signifiers from their referent in both the orchestral arrangements and the lyrics, Jones confronts binary ideas of sexuality—if “here” doesn’t refer to Rome, and Spanish structures are now Italian, what’s to say the “you” that wants “a man a little bit older” refers to the unnamed female prevalent in pop? This fluid sexuality is a theme of Jones’s album; “Olivia” begins with him singing sweetly about a “broke, white girl singing Sweet Home Alabama,” while “Return to Life” is an ode to a man with “wavy hair like Byron” who teaches Jones that “love is a burning strike.” In Don Juan, he bemoans that “girls can’t help me, boy’s can’t help me,” Much like the mingling of genres confuses the listener trying to box the album in, Jones purposefully confounds those who conceive of sexuality as either/or.

Photo by Phil Sharp for The Line of Best Fit

“Strange Emotional” also touches upon a motif that runs through the album: rain. The album’s halfway point is marked by an interlude called “Rain in Rome,” which features soft singing over the sounds of rain and thunder, which eventually morphs into applause. Throughout out the album, such as at the beginning of “Olivia,” the drum kicks and snares are played simultaneously with hi-hats and cymbals to invoke the feeling of a hard rain comingling with thunder. On “Strange Emotional,” he sings, “when it rains here, it really rains.” It’s an odd choice for an album meant to capture the experience of living in Rome, especially considering the city’s association with the sun. Somehow it works. When Jones couples his lover asking him if he takes the elevator or stairs with wondering why the lover would care if Jones “ran out to the streets with wet hair,” all you can think of is Roman streets and storms. It brings to mind the elevator scene in Paulo Sorrentino’s The Great Beauty, as well as the protagonist Jep’s embrace of his ex-lover’s husband in the hard rain. Sorrentino’s biggest influence, Fellini, adored the beauty of rainstorms. Jones invokes the Roman rain of their films, all romance and no umbrellas, causing the listener to imagine an idealized version of the city. This doesn’t make his portrayal any less authentic. How Jones remembers Rome is inevitably informed by the city’s portrayal in film and literature; to pretend otherwise would be a rejection of his experience.

Jones doesn’t rely solely on his lyricism, however. As I touched upon above, his consistently brilliant arrangements enter into conversations with what he says, calling to mind the call-and-response nature of jazz staples. Nowhere is this more obvious than on “Featured Artist,” where the trumpet acts as an exclamation point, a sarcastic laugh, and a straight response. Jones never fully strays into an identifiable style, however, preferring to keep the listener from fully dissecting the song through layering the jazz elements with pop guitars and romantic strings. The song’s lyrics focus on the human mundanity of the musician’s life, the repetition of rehearsals that lead to being “this week’s featured artist,” in a failed attempt to stave off death. Through mixing elements from several centuries, Jones turns the song into a statement on artistry, and people, in general—Jazz, classical, pop; musicians, painters, writers; artists, accountants, athletes; we all work hard to make it look easy, and die having done nothing else. The worry of repetitive work towards a cosmically unimportant goal reappears through the album. On “Olivia,” he lists a few of the select works that have outlived their creators before crooning that he is “working, working/ now I cannot be employed” as flutes, violins, and vocalists reminiscent of Russian ballet play in the background. It conjures the emotion of a man caught in an unfair system, one where he can either work himself toward a nigh-unreachable dream or chase love, but not do both.

Jones’s album reminds us of the futility of trying to fit music into defined, narrow boxes, chastising us that characterizing an artist solely in terms of their predecessors or genre is reductive and wrongheaded. A song is greater than the sum of its parts. A bouquet is more than just lilies, orchids, and roses. It’s the complicated interplay between them, the soft melding of the purples and whites, the mingled scents and sights. Approaching it as such tells us more about its creator and ourselves than any deconstruction ever will.


[1] Elton John did the soundtrack, and honestly, it’s one his best works, as absurd as that sounds.

Beach Time

Every spring, as pollen descends across the United States, I begin to have panic attacks about the nature of time. At this point, it seems as regular as the flowers blooming. Though it happened through high school as well, having to travel between Providence and Atlanta has made it worse. This isn’t because of the trip itself, but rather the different weather cycles of the two towns. In Providence, you never have any doubt about what season it is; this certainly is not the case in Atlanta. Sure, it’s often colder in January than July, and there’s enough pollen in April to choke out the metro area, but in the grand scheme, the differentiation is minor. Especially when paired with the nature of our memories, this makes it difficult to discern when during the year a particular event happened. We don’t retain the physical memory of bugs attacking our calves or the simmering heat, only the less poignant intellectual imprint of it. In places with massive seasonal swings, this matters less, because there are more obvious signifiers of what season it is, i.e. “is it snowing?” In Atlanta, however, it creates a situation where memories blend together across visits. When did we bike to Stone Mountain? Was it in January or June? Which month did I bike more? When did that restaurant open? November or April? Who knows.

Pet Sounds, the Beach Boys seminal album, turned fifty two weeks ago. It’s the same age as Revolver, a year older than Sgt. Pepper’s, and precedes Hunky Dory by a solid six years. Having been alive for none of that time period, this absolutely shocks me. For all the faults that labeling music as timeless brings,[1] Pet Sounds is certainly timeless. But it’s timeless in a different way than that of Bowie I talked about a couple months ago. Pet Sounds sounds fifty only in that it sounds like it could have been released anytime in the past half a century (or more). Close your eyes and you can imagine the album playing from the jukebox in a 1950’s diner, the tinny speakers of a 1970’s van, or drifting out of the top of a contemporary convertible. More importantly, in any of those scenarios, the album sounds brand new.

Do a quick experiment for me. Go on Apple Music, or Spotify, or Pandora radio, or anything else. Find the artist Best Coast, in particular their album Crazy for You. Listen to it. Or even better, start a Crazy for You station. Tell me what the songs sound like. Maybe weave in some songs from Pet Sounds—see how nicely they blend? It’s like they’re all one generation. The guitar riffs that meld lo-fi grain with beach color and mingle with the soft “aahhs” of backing vocals reminiscent of doo-wop. The lyrics that infuse unrequited love with dreams of domestic bliss, crooned in an affectedly unaffected voice that conveys an airy reality that would be almost dreamlike if not for the intrusion of brutal emotional pain. This isn’t to call Best Coast or their ilk derivative (I really like them), but to highlight how fresh Pet Sounds was and is. Their complex surf rock neither burned out nor faded away, remaining contemporaneous with each year. That the pastiche still feels fresh is a testament to the original.

Bowie also existed out of time; but for all his greatness, his music never truly transcended the era in which it was made, even when he did. Hunky Dory is probably my favorite Bowie album; it’s beautiful and complicated, with Bowie taking on the personas of heroes and villains as a way to express his inner struggles. Worries about his ability to be a father are wrapped inside an adaptation of an Arthur C. Clarke story; meditations on knowledge and death are (possibly) explored from the point of view of Hitler in his suicide bunker. The B-side of the album consists of homages to Andy Warhol, Bob Dylan, and Lou Reed. It’s closed out by the cuttingly personal “Bewlay Brothers,” unmasking the pain that pretending to be someone else failed to ease. It’s sonically stunning, with each song staggeringly unique and yet closely tied to what precedes and follows it. It’s near impossible to believe that a 24 year-old made this album. But it’s easy to date it. It couldn’t have been made anytime other than between 1966 and 1974. In a way, this contributes to Bowie’s timelessness. There’s a disconnect between the maturity of the music and the age of the artist. Bowie was simultaneously old with the wisdom that brings yet bubbling with youthful creativity. No 24 year old could make this album, yet it could have only been made when Bowie was 24.

This is the case with most Bowie albums. Low is one of the masterpieces of the 20th century. It’s meditative quality, born out of intense writer’s block and Bowie’s urge to cleanse, allows the listener to either immerse himself in a fugue state, using the transcendental album to bring them to an empty space or to craft a world to fit the soundtrack nature of the album. But such an album wouldn’t be made today—not because it couldn’t be, but because the sound of the album was intimately tied to the ambient music movement of the late 1970’s. There are too many signifiers of its time. There’s snow in the treetops.[2]

Though filled with complex, challenging arrangements, a lot of the utopian feel of Pet Sounds comes from its simplicity. Fredric Jameson famously said that his concept of a utopia was a world where no one went to bed hungry. For Brian Wilson, it’s that two people can live together. Even in the darker songs, there’s always a sense of hope that this will one day be the case. No matter how bad the world may be, there’s always the possibility of it getting better. The utopian simplicity adds to its timelessness. Who amongst us, wanting and alone, hasn’t dreamed of loving co-habitation with the object of their affection? Bowie, for all his greatness, was never simple and utopian.[3] Even the seemingly upbeat parental metaphor that is “Oh, You Pretty Things” replaces humanity with a new species and shruggingly accepts the apocalypse.[4] Diamond dogs die; sloops sail on.

Though The Beach Boys may have splintered due to death and mental illness, they are eternally “the band on the radio singing ‘this is my generation again and again,’” to borrow from Meilyr Jones.[5] Their sound is as fresh as it ever was—they’re the ever-present heat to Bowie’s signifying snows. I put on Apple Radio’s Pet Sounds station; the second song is by Best Coast. I’m going biking—the restaurant nearby is supposedly new. Or maybe it’s fifty?


I want to offer a special thanks to Jenson Lowry, who pushed me to really listen critically to Pet Sounds and also introduced me to Best Coast, and Luc Bokor-Smith and Rex Patton, who have really changed how I approach listening to music over the past year or so. This piece, like almost everything I write about music, is indebted to the long, meandering conversations I have with the first two and the brief but content filled ones I have with Rex.


[1] Something Steve Hyden very eloquently talks about in his new book.

[2] The only Bowie albums that may avoid this fate (though it’s too early to tell) are his last two. Maybe a growing awareness of his own mortality pushed him into making albums more timeless in the traditional sense. Perhaps he feared that if the totality of his out of timenesss existed in him, it would cease to exist when he did, and history would forget him more quickly. Whatever it was, both The Next Day and Blackstar mostly abandon the signifiers of their eras. Think about how jarring it is when Bowie mentions his cellphone on Lazarus; for all the album’s focus on mortality, it’s the only concrete connection to a time.

[3] The only song that is that I can think of is “Kooks”

[4] As Chris O’Leary notes in his ever-useful Rebel Rebel, “all the nightmares came today/and it looks as though they’re hear to stay” is sung with a “rolling purr” that dismisses the idea of struggling against the apocalypse.

[5] Another musician, who though his solo debut was released this year, already sounds timeless.

Rock n Roll Suicide

Last night I was in a light sleep, one easily disrupted, a sleep I’m often in. What disturbed this particular sleep, however, was relatively unique. My phone was ringing off the hook, something that occurs with ever lessening frequency. I ignored it, knowing it could wait until morning. When I awoke, the first message I saw read, “You’re going to wake up to bad news. I’m sorry.” I didn’t want to scroll through the rest of the texts and notifications; lying back in bed seemed like a much better idea. But the day had to start at some point, so I read on. A missed call from my sister. A follow-up text from her. Two texts from a friend who adores rock. “CNN just sent me an update.” “I just got a BBC notification.” A news update of my own. David Bowie is dead. It seems like a hoax. Three days after he releases a new album, one centered on his mortality. After months of cancer so completely hidden that it seemed not a soul knew. But that’s why we immediately felt that it was true. Bowie seemed to aspire for his life to exist outside of reality. Why would his death be any different?


I always struggle when people ask me who my favorite musician is. I respond with a question of my own, a common evasion for a common query. How do you define favorite? One I listen to most? One I respect most? Something else? When I ask myself that question, however, my response is much quicker: David Bowie. I don’t know why I pause when others ask me this. Maybe it’s because a lot of people my age associate Bowie (wrongly), with the past, and I fear they’ll see me as one of those young people who overly valorize the old rather than embrace the new. Maybe it seems like, if you’re going to pick a “past” musician, you should say the Stones or the Beatles or Bob Dylan, not a pop artist. Whatever it is, it has stopped me from admitting that one of the weirdest, most creative artists working during my lifetime was also my favorite. Bowie was a beautiful genius in ways that writers much smarter than I either have or will cover. No matter the style of pop, you can find a Bowie song that does it well. The man existed at all times, which meant he seemed to exist out of time. His death is a reminder that, unfortunately, this isn’t the case. Eventually, the clock came for Bowie. He was timeless; now he is timeless.


Imagine David Bowie dying slowly. Imagine him in a hospital gown, a white one with red and black polka dots, one that isn’t form fitting at all. Imagine him talking to his doctor. “Well David, you really shouldn’t have smoked those Reds for so long.”[1] Imagine his final day. His family gathered around his deathbed, staring into his eyes for the final time.[2] It seems inconceivable. It feels right that his death occurred in the middle of the night (for people in the U.S. at least). For all the talk about his personas, that for him everything was a performance and his every action performative, he often moved without commotion. He announced he’d stop touring as Ziggy mid-concert, as if he had just made up his mind; he released The Next Day and Blackstar with little of the pageantry associated with an aging star making a comeback. I can’t imagine him dying, but I can imagine him slipping out one night, without fanfare, just him returning from whence he came. An alien who blessed us with his presence, and, upon giving us enough, went home.


I’m in Key West again—it’s been a little under a year since I was here last. As I walk into the house, almost everything is as it was, just slightly rearranged. I hope that Bowie, whether on Mars or some similarly far out place, finds the same.

[1] Yes, this is riffing on Alex Pappademas’s inability to picture Bowie doing everyday, normal things.

[2] Bowie has a family. I don’t know why, but even that seems odd. Can aliens marry humans?